So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
your like the ambassador to my penis.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
