How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
