I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
