this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
