She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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