he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
