he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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