So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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