That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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