Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
