try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
