We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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