Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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