your parents love me but you hate me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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