I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
