she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
