I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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