he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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