Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
