well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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