i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
