He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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