bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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