ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
