guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
