i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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