is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
