just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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