TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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