My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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