I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
