i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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