I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
