omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
