I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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