Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
