Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
