She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize