doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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