hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize