Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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