Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
