Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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