Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im holly from the hills drunk
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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