it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
