drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
