are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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