What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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