Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
