I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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