So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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