3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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