**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
