this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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