Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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