Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Sober January is a disaster.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
