The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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