Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
