She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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