so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
